What type of movie is Slumdog Millionaire?
a. Hollywood blockbuster
b. Hollywood indie movie
c. Crossover cinema
d. A western attempt to make a Bollywood movie
Who would you rate the king of lost and found movies where incidents just happen so that you can discover your loved ones coincidentally?
a. James Cameron
b. Danny Boyle
c. Prakash Jha
d. Manmohan Desai
Who would you rate the king of cop interrogation scenes that can be straight of the Gamdevi police chowki ?
a.Martin Scorcsese
b.Danny Boyle
c.Rajkumar Santoshi
d.Ramgopal Verma
Which movie would you describe as the most realistic description of slum life in Mumbai that tugs your emotions and reminds you of Dharavi instantaneously?
a.Harold and Kumar
b.Slumdog Millionaire
c.Dharavi
d.Salaam Mumbai
Which train scene best epitomizes the ability of a person to separate with a loved one as the train gather momentum?
a.Trainspotting
b. Slumdog Millionaire when Jamal loses Latika
c. Hum when Amitabh loses Kimi Katkar
d. Yaadon ki Baraat when Dharam paaji loses his brothers because he jumped early
Which is AR Rehman’s best background score in a movie?
a. Moulin Rouge
b. Slumdog Millionaire
c. Rangeela
d, Bombay
Which is the best dialogue that appeals to people who rely on fate and things beyond their control to justify what happens in their lives?
a. ‘I believe in America’ from Godfather
b. ‘It is written’ from Slumdog Millionaire
c. ‘Mere paas maa hai’ from Deewar.
d. ‘Arrey oh baabu mushoy hum to rangmanch ki kathputliyan hain jiski dor us upar wale ke haathon main hai kab, kaun kahan uthega ye koi nahin janta from Anand.
So you get the drift if most of your answers are a then you have never been to movies more than once a year, Hindi or English. If your answer is b then you have not seen enough Hindi movies since you lived in South Mumbai or somewhere far away from India. If your answer is c you have never seen Hindi movies twice. If your answer is d you will come out of Slumdog thinking why there is so much hype over this movie.There are some improbable scenes just because this movie had to be in English. Jamal Malik speaks accented English at a Gamdevi police station where Saurabh Shukla is on his best MC/BCs behaviour. The most popular bhikari song in Mumbai is not a Soordas bhajan Mr.Boyle, but Shirde wale Sai baba aaya hai tera dar pe qawwali. And a Latika cannot turn into a Pinto, anyone can recognize her Goanness from a distance.
Like the last error, Mr.Boyle never had time for such nuances. He was on a ride to show the worst scenes from Mumbai, lampoon India and its call center culture all in the guise of making a feel good movie.The movie definitely is feel good but its not Oscar material, its pure kitsch its the same as the British discovering balti chicken and now calling it their own. As a sign of protest, I nominate Amar Akbar Anthony for the Oscars. It had feel good , lost and found, scenes from the slums of that time and everything that makes fate the winner. In a way the success of this movie seems well written but I am sure of buffet of the scenes from several Indian movies would taste better than this khichdi with pesto sauce.And maybe Bollywood directors should resort to reading books ( beyond Chetan Bhagat) and watching Korean DVDs, we could have made our own Jhopadpati Crorepati (why didn’t they think of that name for the Hindi version?).

Jaane Tu ya Jaane Na : Movie Review

I watched Jaane Tu again on Youtube... And thats when I really wanted to write a review.

Abbas Tyrewala you lovable Parsi...the guy who imbibes everything of Mumbai in a undefeatable package...the man who wrote Munnabhai ...and the delectable Om Shanti Om makes an impressive debut as a director...

The movie starts on a self-deprecatory note with a classic plot device ...a set of friends narrating an old story that culminates in an airport while going to pick up from an airport to a girl who seems quite bored with the group... Yawn...another love story....in this way Abbas teases the audience but also underdogs himself...

The group of friends is perfect and anyone who has studied in colleges can identify with it. Bombs ( Alishka Varde) is the classic Marathi gal who would develop a soft corner for. Rotlu and Jignesh as the loser stereotypes are excellent and the other gal with super spunk...In fact casting is so perfect throughout the movie....Naseer, Ratna Pathak Shah, Jayant Kripalani, Anuradha Patel , Kitu Gidwani, Rajat Kapur, Paresh Rawal really add charm to the scenes and the crazy duo of Arbaaz and Sohail play the best cameos of their lie...

The movie has a spoofy touch to it all over as well. Almost as if Abbas had an Om Shanti Om hangover...But here all the references are subtle and you would not pick them up sometimes. It was almost as if Abbas took all the standard set of classic Bollywood cliches and shuffled them in a different goofy way. Some of them like the the dream sequence with the horse is something like Zanjeer, the whole Ranjhore Rajput flashback is actually a version of the QSQT first part where Dalip Tahil kills someone but here Naseer dies,leaving Jai to be raised by Ratna Pathak Shah, a Dil type college fight and the jailing of the hero, a scene where Imran jumps over a hedge like Aamir Khan in JJWS, Rotlu giving Tu hi re the really rotu touch, the Hum Paanch type talking to the dead husband...and lots of others...

The lead cast is not likeable immediately but they grow on you mainly because they dont try too hard. Imran has a lot of his uncle especially when he smiles and when he explains something. Genelia although blessed with an irritating voice and diction, d0es manage to sprinkle a simple girl next door type feel to her role. This kind of a love story cast that was missing in Bollywood for a long time.Simple, effervescent, casual and completely natural ...

There are some absolutely superb dialogues in the movie ..when Aditi says ' College ke 5 saal kaise beet gaye pata hi nahi chala' and Ratna Pathak interjects ' Phone pe beta, phone pe'. Jignesh talking about ' Aditi ko visa bhi mil gaya, sab ko nahi milta hai' an intelligent quip and also 'mera surprise birthday party hai,zaroor aana'...All of Ratna Pathaks dialogues are cool just because the way she says it...there is a scene where she talks to Naseer ' tum sarphire, hinsak.....pause...mard' ... her interludes with the cop Waghmare ( although a restrained Paresh Rawal but lacking enough Marathiness to pull off a Waghmare) are wonderful..What delight she is ...oh how I miss Sarabhai vs Sarabhai...

Songs are truly cool...Pappu cant dance works due to the interesting lyrics where as Kabhi Kabhi Aditi due to the strumming tune...Kahi pe Nigahen is also nice...Although I have to say the choreography could have been much better for Pappu cant dance and kahi pe nigahen.

The movie though thoroughly enjoyable raises some tough questions for the love story genre.. Now could Abbas have pulled this off as a pure love story, if you remove all the set pieces like the Rajput Rathore angle, the portrait talk, the police inspector angle, etc. I dont think so at all. Since the story drags the most when there is focus on the love story. In fact the purposefully negative characterization of Sushant , and the disturbed family life of Meghana are easy writing gimmicks. At the end of the day, I never felt the love...which is where Jab We Met scored a bit. And if I compare it with the love stories it tries to spoof, then I really thought Aamir and Madhuri or Juhi loved each other a lot more in Dil and QSQT. In fact it doesnt even come close to the Aamir's silly fling with Pooja Bedi and Ayesha Jhulkas pain in JJWS.

Hence Abbas Tyrewala is a smart writer who acknowledges the limitation of his own film-making in some way just like Pappu cant dance saala actally refers to Imran's debut without a dance number. Since Yash Chopra's karva chauth and chiffons style refashioned by his cronies like Kunal Kohli is not working, I am seriously wondering if the Bollywood love story ki death hi ho gayi kya.

Dark Knight the Bright Light

There is something about Batman that attracted me as a kid. The first reason was because of quizzing trivia attached to it especially the inspiration from Leonardo da Vinci drawing. I saw the animated series on DD sometimes, with the whole ‘pow’ punches for camp effect. Then in engineering I met a guy who actually collected original Batman comics (in India you had a lot of fake reprints) who explained the whole ‘dark’ concept about it. But the first Batman movie I saw: ‘Batman and Robin’ was a huge disappointment. In the meanwhile, I have heard a lot of Batman history and trivia from some colleagues but I also missed the resurrection, Batman Begins.

Cut to The Dark Knight. This is the first Hollywood Blockbuster after Casino Royale that I have watched in sneaks. And it was more than paisa vasool.

I have been a big fan of blockbusters rather than comic book heroes; although Batman is the only one I have actually read more. To me the movie works on both counts.

It is kind of counterintuitive, but it is true that a superhero movie is better if the villain more powerful, menacing and unpredictable. So if you want to make a good superhero movie, focus on the quality of villainy, not the histrionics of the hero.

And the Dark Knight pays complete homage to the above rule. Heath Ledger’s Joker shines through this movie engulfing you into his menacing ways. A devil needs character and also characterization, and there are enough dialogues and scenes that do it well in this movie. Moreover the screenplay is so perfect, that the interplay of characters and the situations is always poignant, tense and engaging. And it succeeds in creating an enjoyable movie not for its special effects but for the raw human emotion behind its characters. And Batman is not truly a superhero; he is at best a guy with better access to technology.

There are some absolutely stand out scenes, like Joker’s entry scene with the pencil, the social experiment on the ship, some incredible action sequences where Batman almost lassoes a truck. The movie is also peppered with intelligent dialogues and zingy one-liners.

I can probably write a bit more, but since everyone would have watched this movie due to the saturation release policy let me just end by saying if you wondered if Hollywood had forgotten to make a blockbuster, watching this will redeem the faith in the direction of the superhero genre by Christopher Nolan and the studios ability to continue to build the hype.

What Race is this ?

Race Gadhon ki,

Race audience ki,

My head is aching yaaa.....

Bachaa Bachaa.......

Ye movie time ki barbaadi hai...abbas mastan ni baasi kadi pakai hai....

(Remix of the title song of Race)

This race is all about finding the exit door. A movie that is high on style, stubble and skirts and low on everything else.Abbas Mastan the thriller titans give us a half baked enterprise that can never raise its game. Amateurish dialogues , when did cockroach become a gaali? The movie is about two horse racing brothers, Saif and Akshaye, one committed to winning and other who is a drunkard wanting to win at all odds. So Akshaye hatches a plan of duping his brother and polishing him off in a Baazigar style building drop (can we have better ideas please). To do this he also involves Bips who is Saif's flame by saying he will leave daru if she becomes joru.

Akshaye actually pouts more than he plans and his face twisting is the least of our worries. The bigger worry is the senseless plot twists which are almost inexplicable at times and are hardly suspenseful. The movie livens to some extent with the entry of a fruit eating detective played by Anil Kapoor and his dumb secretary Sameera Reddy who investigates Saif's death with as much seriousness as a music show judge.

Katrina Kaif and Bipasha take turns in looking out of sorts and mouthing dialogues with disinterest. Bipasha even scores low in the looks department with bad hair days and ill-fitting costumes. Katrina has almost no role in the first half except for getting papers signed by Saif from time to time.

I am reminded of the famous Rangeela dialogue to summarize this movie where Aamir Khan asks the restaurant owner ' kya re sirf table khurchi pe kharch kiya kya?'. Similarly Abbas Mastan have spent a lot of Taurani money on horses, blowing up expensive cars and a good star cast. The rest of it they completely forgot.

Dus Kahaniyaan :Movie Review

Dus Kahaniyaan is an experiment to club 10 stories about relationships into a movie helmed by six directors. And as an experiment it definitely works for the moviegoers who want to see something different from the Bollywood hype machine. It is far better than the Darna Mana Hai series and the choice of subject offers a richer tapestry for the directors.

The starting story of this enterprise ‘Matrimony’ is the smartest of the lot. Mandira Bedi looks ravishing and acts well showing how ignored an actress she is thanks to the overdose of her strapless spaghettis during the cricket matches. This story is very crisply edited and the twist takes a minute to understand and appreciate.

The best story from an engagement standpoint is ‘Rice Plate’. I would half predict that Rohit Roy (yes the same guy who hosts one of the music shows and acts in many serials) is a director to watch out for. He succeeds in making Shabana Azmi very believable and likeable as a Tamil Iyer paati. The last attempt to do the same Morning Raga was a disaster from the word go. Using simple story telling based on the old generations intolerance for other religions, he creates a fresh style of making a point about religious integration without force or over emotion or patriotism. An incident taken out of a normal day to present a larger thought is deceptively easy but tough to execute. And when you have Naseer in an impeccable cameo and Shabana getting her Iyer mannerisms right, you cannot ask for more from a debutante director.

Lot of people would like the story Pooranmashi helmed by Meghna Gulzar, which portrays the hinterland of Punjab with great narrative grip relying on very clichéd metaphors. Although there is enough pathos in this story, I would have expected a better ending by a woman director. Why can’t a woman who has chosen to have an extra marital relationship in a village speak up? Or are we to assume she was looking for some support from her lover Parmeet Sethi but he turns out to be a wimp. I think this latter part should have been explored a bit more.

The fourth story that was good was the Neha Dhupia and Mahesh Manjrekar. Again Manjrekar is perfectly cast as the suspecting wretched husband and Neha as the bored housewife. The takeaway from this story is poignantly developed and delivered. Good direction and casting.

And then you have Nana Patekar delivering a fine old wine performance in Gubbare. Although this story is predictable as soon as Anita sees Nana carrying 11 balloons for his wife, it tugs the heart and paints a lovely picture of married life. Perfectly directed by Sanjay Gupta you wonder if he should do an emotional movie for a change.

The last story Rise and Fall is the Sanjay Gupta we all know. Black suits, rain, bullets, underworld. Incredible stylized, especially the fight sequence in the rain, this story is weak from a scripting stand point and even Sanju baba is not in good form. Maybe he wanted to end this movie with a signature style clip but like Tendulkar he misses an easy century.

The other stories are ordinary. Ranked seventh would be the Manoj Bajpai Dia Mirza one. It was good to see Bajpai on screen after a long time; he still has some special screen presence. Just wish it’s utilized rightly. Dia Mirza is sugary sweet as usual.

Eight would be the High on the highway is a Barista generation clip although its a bit overdone and melodramatic. Although performances by Jimmy Shergill and Masoomi are average, there is something contemporarily cool about this story except for its ending.

The forgettable ones are directed by Apoorva Lakhia and Jasmeet Dhodi.They try to be spooky almost as if the directors forgot that this was Dus Kahaniyan and not Darna Maha Zaroori Hai.

Overall a good effort and a true multiplex product.

Om Shanti Om Movie Review

Let us look at the odds against Farha Khan the director.

1. Making a movie involving a movie and the movie industry

2. Making a movie involving re-incarnation which was last seen 10 yrs back in Karan Arjun

3. Following up a hit like Main Hoon Naa

Not only does she overcome these odds, she pulls off a pure masala entertainer walking a thin line between paying homage to the moviemaking style of the 60s-70s and spoofing it in good measure.

The story is waferthin. SRK plays Om a junior artiste who falls in love with Shanti the reigning superstar. Just as she begins to reciprocate his love, she dies in a studio fire masterminded by a producer and SRK also dies while trying to save her. SRK is reborn as a superstar son in his punarjanam(reincarnation for dummies) and how he regains his past birth memory and avenges Shanti's death form the climax.

But the execution especially in the first two hours of the movie is cool. Its completely over the board at times but extremely likeable. Its also in a way a celebration of SRK's superstar megalomania and he is left to deliver an untethered performance where he really enjoys himself with all his not so tongue in cheek jabs.

The movie is best viewed as a great aggregation of sequences. Although the first half set in the 60-70s is by no means exact in terms of reproduction, since sometimes the sets, dancing styles, spoofed actors and acting styles do not actually match those times. But who cares, since we wanted a leave our brains at home entertainer.

Some sequences are hilarious, the Manoj Kumar premiere scene, SRK's junior artiste Bhaago scenes, the dhoom tana song, SRK's take on Quick Gun Murugan, the Filmfare awards function, the apahij pyar shooting and of course the 31 star-studded song. The Filmfare awards function shows the sporty side of Bollywood especially Abhishek Bacchan and Akshay Kumar. How I wish they actually make a 'Khiladi Returns' with Akshay Kumar's new found superstar status as shown in the nominations.

SRK goes one step ahead in megalomania in the Filmfare awards scene winning two nominations as the reincarnated Om Kapoor for ' Main bhi hoon na' and 'Phir bhi dil hai NRI', two films shown completely alike in treatment with Swiss Alps. But he goofs up where he normally goofs up, the drunken scenes and the nostril flaring emotional scenes.

Deepika Padukone gets a dream debut, although Farha Khan manages to camouflage her acting skills in 70s types wigs and costumes in the first half and skimpy clothes in the second half.

The true hero of the film is Farha Khan. This is a movie that could have only been made by a movie buff with both the heart and head in the right place. Seriously, Agar tum kisi cheez ko dil se chaho to poori kaynaat use dilaane ki koshish karta hai. Wonderful Paulo Coelho rehash for Bollywood.

And SRK the smart producer that he is, must have netted a cool Rs.60 Cr profit by making this movie in 20 and selling to Eros at 80.

Please watch and enjoy seeti maarke....

Jab we meet: a breezy ride

Jab we meet comes as a whiff of fresh air in what has been a disastrous year for Bollywood. Well its not that fresh as well, it is a clever rehash of DDLJ. Replace SRK with Kareena and Kajol with a khadoos Shahid Kapoor, replace the Yash Chopra Europe obsession with a Mumbai- Amritsar Express and some really laughable sequences, you have Jab We Meet.
Although sparks do not fly when you see a lead pair in love when the movie was made, they make engaging viewing. Kareena gets to play a character that suits to her to a K. She infuses infectious enthusiasm with dialogues that are refreshingly simple but effective like 'kya boss kya kar rahe ho', 'main apni favourite ho', 'mujhe bachpan se hi shaadi karne ka bahut shauk tha' and so on.
Kareena who has never missed a train in her life meets Shahid who has missed a lot of zeros in his bank account. She loves to speak and he doesnt want to speak. So you have some funny interludes which results in the two getting stranded at Ratlam station. There comes the hilarious Decent Hotel where Kareena asks the rate by the hour and doesnt realize she is mistaken for a prostitute.
The story then moves to Kareena's house in Punjab, where she wants to elope against her family wishes. The Punjabi stereotyping is really funny especially her overboard father. Although Shahid helps her elope, she gets ditched and works in a missionary school in Shimla. How Shahid finds her and gets married to her is the climax. In between there is an excellent cameo by the guy who ditches Kareena in the first place. Watch out for the ganna scene and his other constipated cribs.
Overall a breezy ride thanks to an engaging screenplay and good songs.

Is Akshay Kumar the new superstar

Apparently his package has crossed Shahrukh's.

All of Akshay's 2007 movies, Namastey London,Heyy Baby,Bhool Bhulaiyya have shown bumper openings in SRK's stronghold: the overseas markets.

He is making a comeback into action movies with Deepika Padukone to be shot in full John Woo style and Matrix style.

Vipul Shah is making a monster of a movie titled 'Singh is king' with him.

If only he had a better voice, he would be a complete package.

But he still seems to be a guy's superstar, most babes dont rate him highly. But who cares when the moolah flows right?

Om Shanti Om: Update

The more I see of Farah Khan's Om Shanti Om, I cant help feeling she has a winner on her hands. Deepika Padukone looks a million bucks, Shreyas Talpade would prove to be an endearing sidekick and Shahrukh strangely has an author backed role to ham and the music is bursting the charts.

I liked all the nostalgia components, the sets, the costumes and especially the 786 starting couplet. I remember watching so many movies in the 70s that used to start with the couplet. Of course the 786 was immortalized forever in Deewar.

And the song Deewangi with 31 stars simply rocks. Its such a simple concept, copied from Manmohan Desai's Naseeb and its revolving restauarant, but there is something simply magical about getting all of Bollywood in one song for a fan.

Rock on...till Nov 9.

No Smoking Music

All is not lost in Bollywood in terms of innovation as some would presume.

Check out the No smoking soundtrack. If the Marlboro Man type seductiveness of wisps of smoke was not enough, the songs are an admirable extension.

Listen to 'Phoonk De' sung brilliantly by Sukhwinder Singh. One of the best sutta songs after the infamous 'BC Sutta' which moved from IIT campuses to the pubs in no time.